Dec. 4th 7:17PM

What would I do if I was approached with an award prize of one million dollars? 

I wouldn't talk to anyone about it. I'd let the money sit in my bank account and watch people, thinking behind my eyes they aren't as rich as I am. I would peel my eyes for opportunities to spend a little cash to help someone or hurt them, in hilarious little ways. Watching people suffer isn't something I like doing but I do like to give money away. I'd buy a homeless man an apple, for example. Or, I'd sell out a street vendor so he can sell nothing more. I call that troll level one million. That's because I'll have a million dollars.

I would ask about who is awarding me the money, and determine based on my observations if they're a good source, and if not, I'll not accept the money. Who am I kidding? I'd probably accept it all anyway. If they were particularly notorious, I might accept the award then, on my own time, turn them in. I wanted to get as far away from them as possible before dropping the dime on them. I'd be ordered to return the money, no doubt. I would have already spent it on apples for the homeless. I would completely sell the vendor out.

Have a million dollar bank account would boost my ego immeasurably. Every day I would wake up chipper and ready to start my day of spending money. If I put some in an interest-paying account, I wonder how long before I'd have 2 million? Far too long, I'm sure. That means I can spend it all and get away with it. The best way to divide up the money I would experiment with buying small items, never investing in something too big for fear of losing my money. I'd never run out of cigarettes this way. Life would be less healthy, and I might die before I spend it all. A damned shame, considering I have no children to give the money to after I die. It would all go to my family. I would of course ask them to spend the money as I would in my will, in case that would happen. 

Or, if I want to risk the whole batch, I could invest in futuristic technology. I'd get all the perks of being a main donor, like insider access into the new technology. I could possibly be the first cyborg to match Batman in real-world abilities. I could be Iron Man. A Robin Hood of the inner city, busting down doors with a highly advanced impact hammer. Sharing the new technology with the public would be its own reward. I could perfect a psychic robot that reads your mind by paying a research team to focus solely on that idea. The press release would be huge:

"Telepathy is Now Possible Thanks to Caesar Naples Technology"

It could be a huge breakthrough for my passionate hobby of magic and illusion. If true telepathy were actually possible, I could perform countless feats of magic. But I have a feeling the psychic technology wouldn't probe a mind for answers, but be better for intentional communication. I would safeguard the robots so they can't hack into the human mind. Everything shared would be voluntary. If it were only possible now, without a million dollars, without the notoriety associated with such a prize. Money is not the prize, after all. It's the human game that I've set my eyes to master.