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I've had a lot of red bulls and I'm bored out of my mind, so I'll relate some insight into what goes on in my head. I've always been very introverted and this new life in rural oklahoma has really heightened my tendency to just sit around and think about things. It’s kinda nice but weird at the same time.

I just made a post where I talked about trying to have a mental plan for my life. I'll try to explain what I mean.

My grandpa worked for a huge insurance company that's considered a corporation. He was elected for a position of leadership at the Oklahoma City offices and went every morning to participate in corporate politics and whatever else came along with his job. I think mostly they were working on the way the corporation worked so they could continue making money.

Now, I know a little bit about corporations, I have some off-the-cuff knowledge, and I know there's a lot of hate for them. But Mitt Romney thinks a corporation should be treated as a person, which is kind of a joke really. Wouldn't that person happen to have more power than any single human being in the entire world, considering hundreds of people work for the corporation, and the wouldn’t the economic impact of the entire corporation itself be impossibly huger than any persons? So, what I think about corporations--I think they're generally a bad, overly capitalist thing and I know from first hand experience that the leaders of corporations, like my grandpa, have the rediculous notion they're in some sort of club together, like the founding fathers or something, and I can tell you, the politics can obsess these people.

But there's some kind of security, knowing you have all these people in the corporation that are connected to you and have something in common with you--that spend there lives trying to benefit the company. I came up with all these terms to describe the corporate life, all beginning with "corporate" like : corporate security, corporate strength, corporate sorrow, corporate innovation, corporate responsibility, corporate dominance, and the such. Really, I kind of became obsessed with the corporation myself in a way, for a short time, even though all the terms I came up with were meant to be ironic. I conciously exaggerated the impact of the corporation on my life, just with the awareness that that was a possibility. For all I know, my grandpa leads his family with these questionable corporate values and maybe, much of my suffering comes from the fact that he used to work for a corporation. But really, I think that's an exaggeration. It's merely a possibility.

Once again, there are certain benefits of this existence, with a corporation influencing you, and I planned to take full advantage of that fact, with a certain amount of irony. For example, there's the pride of a corporate monger, and the financial security, and the kind of controlled wisdom that comes with corporate leadership. I didn't directly have a hand in leading the corporation, but I had first hand examples of someone who did. I was a descendant of corporate monger, and I was pretending it was my lot in life that I would have to adapt to this situation that was created for me.

An important point is that some kids really are victims of a corporation overpowering their sensibilities. Usually spoiled, stuck up rich kids, with no satisfaction in their lives and the impulse to follow in their family's footsteps and work for a corporation themselves someday. I was simply borrowing some of the positive benefits of such a situation. I think the idea has a lot of potential, like for instance I could start up my own business someday with more confidence, and there's the confidence boost that comes along with the egotism. But in the end, the influence over my life wasn't strong enough to fully adopt this belief system and pretend I was living the life of corporate royalty or something, and I have mostly forgotten about my corporate obsession. But maybe someday it will kick in again. Like when I get a job at Astra Zeneca.