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I've been focusing on the "burden of disease" with my family recently. Frankly, I no longer want to deal with the burden of disease, so I'm going to come up with a treatment plan which supposedly helps reduce it. If my family, employers, and friends know I am strictly following a recovery plan for schizophrenia, I will feel less awful about the statistical nightmare of being diagnosed with schizophrenia. 

1) Abilify for 1 year

The plan for antipsychotics is always to get off of them. 1 year is a relatively short amount of time to get off of them. I would take my full dose, as adjusted by my doctor, for 1 year then start reducing the dose until I'm off it, probably over 4-6 months after the first year. I feel that in one year, I can make broad steps towards recovery, with the help of the medication, and actually--I haven't been taking any for about two months now and despite the sleeplessness in the beginning, it's been wonderful. Equally wonderful is how I felt on the medication. However the wikipedia article on schizophrenia pretty much turned me into "hardcore" mode on beating this problem, so I don't want to risk any kind of mental breakdown in the coming year, which is very important because I'm truly moving out and becoming independent this year. 

2) Focus on mental health

I have wild projects. I have wild interests with no real direction. Often, something happens which makes me think my idea is a bad one and I'll just totally drop the project. Instead of hiring artists to come up with stupid memes for me, which is actually something I've tried recently, and instead of buying a synthesizer keyboard, and instead of getting a hotel room next to a bar so I can have some fun, I'm going to focus my creative energy on mental health. It may end up being my career choice. I have already been doing this, with my half-baked mental health fundraiser idea which hasn't really taken off yet, even though I have a website. I feel more realistic mental health goals will be a better idea. Such as advocacy for mental health patients. I can use the internet to achieve awareness goals. Also, I found this site, which is a nice entry point http://money.howstuffworks.com/economics/volunteer/opportunities/volunteer-with-mental-health-patients3.htm

3) Stay on social security until I graduate

No real debate here, I want to go to school and my advantage of being on social security is one I have decided to continue taking ... advantage... of. 

4) Stop blaming family

Although I do try to get my point across, I essentially am using them as an excuse because of my semi-dependence on them. I think moving is the best way to achieve this goal. I think I should be honest to this goal, and stop posting about them on facebook. 

5) Go to school for at least one year

Now, this is what the debate is about. College or no? Obviously, my entire belief system about culture, society, and success revolve around an education. However, several people have made me reconsider this. So I've decided to at least take one year of school, which is one-half of an associates degree, and decide what I want to do from there. This entire list is essentially a one-year plan for my college life. This isn't one of the points, but I'm moving to OKC this summer.

6) Get a roommate within one year

I think for right now, this will be too difficult. However I can achieve two purposes by finding roommates. One, I can save a lot of money. Two, I can finally resocialize myself. It's been very challenging not seeing people irl. I also want a relationship with someone. So, by the time I start reducing the medication, and when the time comes to decide if I want to continue college, I want to get to make the decision myself on whether or not I want a roommate, also.

7) Don't have kids, don't get married

No-brainer, my life would really suck with this disease trying to balance a kid and wife. I think I'm a burden now? Imagine if I had to borrow THOUSANDS instead of HUNDREDS of dollars from my family. Plus it would be really bad for the kid. Just sayin'. What with my disease completely obsessing me and all. 

I have a lot to say about schizophrenia, but it's pretty biased. For example, I have what I would define a low-risk mental state, considering I hate doing drugs, breaking the law, I'm not morbidly depressed, and I've never been suicidal. Another factor making this low-risk is my family's support, although I do find some problems with them at times. I'm also very... intelligent? Intuitive? Lucky? Because I have the self-awareness to improve my condition. 

Oh, I need to add, that even if I don't follow this (broad) list of goals, I do not ever want to change my mind again once I decide something. It's kinda related to my disordered thinking that I even do it in the first place, and it's very destructive when I do that... So never again! NO REGRETS!